I keep saying it but I guess it's because i'm feeling it so much. Stupid lonely and it hurts. Nowhere feels safe and no one to go to and i'm

It's my fault

I can't feel anything

Angry is the only thing that breaks through the grey sludge and i don't want to be angry

Or scared

I'm

I've been on this site since i was a teenager and nothing's changed much. 

I don't 

Christ. I'm so tired

I wish i had someone who i knew i could sit with and talk about my life without having it dissected

But i haven't had that kind of safe space in a long while

There is no space for me in my own life

I can feel my life winding down, like it peaked at the lowest absolute time and i

That's it, i guess

If i have nothing to look forward to

Why am I still here?